Parenting Classes

Do We Need Parenting Classes?

“All of a sudden I was a parent”, is what I often hear parents say. Even though there are many months of preparation,when a first child is born people seem to be caught by surprise. Everything is new.Their life will never be the same as before the child was born.

If it is good to take Parenting Classes, what should be in it?

1. Understanding the relationship with your child

Our society does not prepare us for being a parent. We are not at all set up to live with children. Our living space is mostly the adult one, our schedules are adult schedules, and mainly, -unless you are a teacher or child care worker- once we are adults, we are not used to interact with children on a daily basis. Mostly, children are put in schools and day cares or in the designated areas such as the private home, a play group or a playground.

In our daily lives we do not meet a baby often, let alone hold a new born. Our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual being hardly gets any training in interacting with any age of children.


So what can we expect of ourselves when we have a baby who becomes a toddler, a young child, and a teenager?
We do have memories of how our parents were with us, or how our older siblings or family members treated us, but that may not match how we choose to be with our children. When the parent has a job, the time is very limited to get to know the new family member, or spend quality time with the toddler.
What can we do to fully comprehend the life of the new Being who came to live with us? How can we expect ourselves to respond from giving, understanding and love when we need time to come to ourselves after work in addition to all the tasks waiting at home to do?

What would you do with anybody who would come living with you?

  • You would make space
  • You would make a schedule
  • You would discuss what your likes are
  • You would find a way to express to one another the way how you want you to live together.

You would do all this when you both speak the same language.
But what if the person spoke a foreign language and did not understand English? In what other ways would you communicate with them?

  • You would use facial expression
  • Gestures
  • Sounds
  • You would try to ‘feel’ what the other expresses
  • You would try to ‘read’ the vibrations that come to us
  • You would open yourself up to be ‘Empathic Aware’.
  • In between you would repeat words in order for the other to understand what you are talking about.

It would be an equal game. You could be very aware of when the other ‘gets it’ or when you get what the other means. What a joy!

Now imagine you have a baby, a toddler….Ah… something else to ponder.
You have to be even more Empathic Aware of communicating equally as you can easily overpower the person so new to this world.
Finding Parenting Classes, that promote equal two-way communication, Parenting Classes where you can practice ‘getting’ each other and feeling the joy you can create together, will help you start this journey.

2. Decide on how you want to be as a parent
How my journey started
I had a crucial moment in my relationship with my 2 year old. I was not able to communicate what I wanted and unable to understand what he was after.
A huge anger grew in me into rage, and afterward I was pretty upset about that. How did that happen? Where did that come from?
I was over at a friend’s house and was in shock of how I had behaved with yelling, and even having slapped my toddler on the but. I had never done such things before! He was only two. If it was this difficult to communicate at this age, how would I ever manage when he grew into his teens?
After he was asleep I told my friend I could not hang out with her now. In a trance I found myself standing in front of her book case.
Then my hand reached out and grabbed a book. It was ‘Parent Effectiveness Training’, of 3 times Nobel Peace Prize nominee Dr. Thomas Gordon.

No spanking, no time-outs

I read the book overnight and at day break I was filled with joy. I could learn to communicate with my child in a peaceful way my wants as well as understanding what my child wanted. I had found a way to understand the build up of anger in parenting and how to work with my emotions when I am upset. Never ever would I need to spank or punish! I had discovered a communication method without tricks, without punishments, without bribing rewards for changing behavior, without a moral lecture.
Why did’ nt every parent know about this!
You can get knowledge from a book, but to acquire skills and fully understand how to do, say and feel, you need actual training. Therefore I was so happy that there were indeed Parent Effectiveness Training classes.
I inscribed for the first available course of 10 weeks. By each class I became more enthusiastic. I experienced the dept and love that a relationship could get from the skills that I learned.
After a year of training I received my certification and became a Gordon Trainer. Since then I have taught thousands of parents P.E.T. skills in workshops, lectures, and in the complete course!

 3. Choose

Parenting Program Comparison


Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.)

I consider the Parent Effectiveness Training of Dr. Thomas Gordon as a great foundation for starting the journey in Positive Parenting a Free Child.
It is a training honoring the child and the parent in their most honest and open relationship. Already at the second class of the course parents express that they feel more relaxed and more competent in their parenting.

Complete Original Training with Certificate
The next Parent Effectiveness Training starts in October 2017 in Norman, OK

The next introductions are in September and October 2017 in Norman, OK:

Friday September 22, 4:30-5:30PM  at the Library Central, 225 NorthWebster Norman OK 73069

Friday September 22 and September 29 6:30-7:30PM and Tue 26 and October 3 9:30-10:30AM at The Loop, 225 E. Gray Street in Norman OK 73069


See the “Work With Me” page for your today’s questions!


Dear Parent!
How would your household look like
when you can work through conflicts
with proven Peaceful Conflict Resolution? 
How much more energy would you have?

How many more creative ideas would
fill your living-room to get solutions that work
for situations that you now ‘sigh’ aboutHow much more happiness could you
I would love to share my knowledge
of 24 year experience and train you in
the Peaceful Conflict Resolution skills

that I taught thousands of parents.

Give yourself, your children and all those
you love the gift of
CREATING PEACE within your family.
The complete original Training of
3 times Nobel Peace Prize nominee
Dr. Thomas Gordon with Certification
Parent Effectiveness Training
What Parents say:
The PET was exactly what I was looking for: ways of communicating that nobody is put down or forced to do something they don’t like.
It has been amazing! Our whole household has been changed. No more tantrums. I thought communication wasn’t going to work with a 2 year old, but it has. Tiffany.
I can see the problems I had with my son. Without the language skills it could have spiraled out of control.
What will you get?
–         The Parent Effectiveness Training,
P.E.T. Book and Workbook, several prints
–         A Certificate of Gordon Training
International upon completion of the course
–         With this certificate you can access
The Training for P.E.T.Trainer at the
Gordon Institute.
The P.E.T. is also the basis for
following-up trainings that I offer like  the
– the Sociocratic Method,
– the World Class Marriage Training,
– Teacher and Management Training.
You see, I value the PET to be the highest
communication training. I consider it even a
prerequisite for discussing modern management!
–         A course over 3 months
1 class of 3  hours  each week
You will get the complete original P.E.T.
–         Each class  is divided into
sharing daily experiences, understanding
new information, demonstration, exercises
from the workbook, later-on role-plays
demonstrations and in-dept personal training.
–         Hand outs that I think are supportive
Is there ‘homework’?
–         Read as much of the PET book,
as you can, finish an exercise that we 
started in class,try out the new skill 
you learned and experience how it worked.
Do I need to attend every day?
–         I compare learning Peaceful
Conflict resolution to flying an airplane.
What will you do if you did not have
the lesson in how to land? We will
master ways of expressing
ourselves, hearing what the child
is communicating and learning
how to feed this -and what we want-
back to the child with the “no-lose”-
method. We will go through conflicts,
how they can easily accelerate
and how we can unravel them.
If you dive into a conflict, you must
know how to “land” safely, you must
have mastered the skill to do so.
Every meeting offers a new aspect
of our complex human communication.
Is it Fun?
–         As a former theatre director
I emphasize fun and joy.
I love to be playful in going through
the material meanwhile showing
the seriousness of it. In happy 
moments we are most engaged 
and we learn the best. Even though 
tough experiences may be shared, 
or you may have a tough moment 
in realizing something, we will lift 
those moments up and make it a 
learning moment for everybody, 
knowing that from now on it will 
never need to be so anymore
as you will have new skills!
With the Parent Effectiveness Training you will 
know HOW TO go the Peaceful Way for Life.
The book and workbook will be
ready for you in the first class.
Do you have any questions, concerns?
Many libraries carry The Parent Effectivenss
Training  of Dr. Thomas Gordon- 
in case you would
want to start reading already.
The website of GTI:
Gordon Training International:
You will see that there is a Parent
Effectiveness Training scheduled
in Las Vegas under ‘Find a P.E.T.’
near you. That is us.PET comparison: 
About Cielja Kieft
Cielja is originally from Amsterdam,
The Netherlands and married to metaphysical
teacher and mandalist Emahmn . She is the
mother of  a 24 and 28 year old son and OMA
(grandmother) to a 7 year old granddaughter, 
a 5 year old and a baby grandson.
Their youngest son was home-schooled
(un-schooling) Education has a special place
in Cielja’s heart. She was also a theatre
director and actor trainer as well as a voice
coach at the University of Amsterdam for
many years before she changed careers
to teaching parents Peaceful Communication
skills. She has worked with all age groups.
Browse through former posts on

Please let me know any question/concern that comes up!
Looking very much forward to having you in the course,
together with your partner(s) (in raising your children).Peace and Joy,
Cielja Kieft
Parent Whisperer & Visionary Educator,