Empathic Awareness is being aware of intuitive messages you receive from yourself and others.
Empathic is different from empathetic in that it encompasses a high sensitivity for receiving information about oneself as well as about how someone else is doing physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Empathetic is having Empathy: capturing and/or imagining what another person feels emotionally and what they may want, being considerate. I explain more about this vibrant social skill in a following page.
Empathic Awareness includes having empathetic awareness, empathy.
- “But how can I attend a communication class if my child does not speak yet and is too young to understand what I am saying?” or:
- “I cannot go into a discussion with my toddler!”
While other parents are eager to hear what is going on with the little being they express:
- “I can’t wait till my child speaks, so I can hear all the things he thinks!”
Science has discovered that the spoken word is only 7% of our communication system, which means that 93% is made up of other forms of communication humans use to understand each other and express themselves!
You can train yourselves in understanding the non-verbal messages that babies so generously provide you with. There is lots of information to understanding before they grow up and start using spoken language.
Most parents take early baby language very seriously. It is adaptable that you can start guessing if it is not immediately clear what the baby’s problem is.
Is the infant
- Too hot or cold
- Is there a dirty diaper
- A burp
- A gas
- A discomfort in clothing
- Laying uncomfortable
- Light in the eyes
- Trouble breathing etc.
2. Start using your Empathic Awareness!
Parents who practice some or total attachment parenting develop a natural intuition of being connected to their child queues. They have an ‘inner-knowing’ on a high sensitive level. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, carrying a child in arms and sling have the advantage of forging this strong connection in Empathic Awareness.
Every parent and care-giver however have a chance to open up their Empathic Awareness. It takes more aware effort, concentration, focus, and you probably start out with the ‘guessing-game’ but the joy of experiencing the Empathic Awareness is undeniable.
My son and daughter in law will immediately know what their 2 month old needs, meanwhile I would need to use the ‘guessing-game’ first, as I have not yet had the time to really understand the baby’s personal language and he has not yet had the time to be certain that I will understand him. The moment I can focus on him, and make a bond, I will understand what he needs and I will be Empathic Aware of how he is doing.
2. Listen to your intuition
- Seeing: You see whether the baby is relaxed and comfortable or whether he looks stressed and uncomfortable.
- Hearing: You hear his sounds of peacefulness or her sounds of discomfort.
- Feeling (touch): By holding him you feel how the energy is in his body: relaxed, excited or stressed?
- Smelling: Yes with babies that is the easiest to develop your connection!
- Tasting: Taste her drink or food first before giving it to her
- Your intuition will give you clues.
- The clues will give you thoughts.
- The thoughts can bring associations and the message becomes clear to you.
- The thought can come directly with words and is then clear.
- Or you feel a strong wish to move yourself into action without knowing why and then afterwards you find out what the message was.
When my granddaughter was around 10 months old, she usually slept for 40-90 minutes, during which I did some work on the computer.
From my office I could see into the bedroom where she laid on the bed, but I sat with my back towards the door. She should be fine for at least 30 minutes.
I had just taken several pictures of her because the cat was sleeping so cozily with her. My camera was laying next to me, when I was drawn to take the camera in my hand. I tried to resist it at first, telling myself, “I should finish a certain email and that I had taken enough pictures, I should use the time to finish my work.
Then I felt the urge to turn around and look into the bedroom. She seemed still asleep. Again I felt drawn to the camera and I thought, okay, one more picture.
I grabbed the camera and started walking towards the bedroom. Then I saw that she was awake, sitting up, and with her most wonderful smile full of surprise and bliss she looked up at me, meanwhile holding her hand on the cat.
I received intuitively her message that she was waking up and ‘something’ told me to go to her, using taking a picture as understandable excuse.
When I looked at her I received another intuitive message about how blessed and surprised she felt that the cat had slept with her.
I took a picture of her ‘message’ and I have this photo for many years as my screen saver.
It is the most delightful reminder that I had bonded with her and that my Empathic Awareness was in complete communication with hers!
When there is a conflict you should use Empathic Conflict Resolution
However when there is no conflict or no conflict yet you can use the
Three Step Empathic Communication system:
1. Be Empathic Aware of the situation in the here and now
- Open up your intuition
- Open up your senses. Look, feel, hear, smell,
- Have the intent to assist if necessary
2. Use Empathic Listening, get the gist with Active Listening
- Stop judgments and roadblock thoughts
- Feed back from what you hear, see, feel
- Be congruent
3 Change Complaints into wishes
- Be open to hearing complaints
- Formulate them into wishes
- Get to co-creating if wanted.