It is the number one thing to be as a parent. If you are out of energy, not feeling well or worrying, it is almost impossible to give the attention, the gentleness, to have the patience your children need to help them figuring out live. One of the basic teachings in the Parent Effectiveness Training is called: “Filling up Your Cup”. It is that essential. There are several ways to get back into energy, feeling well and in balance.
A Fit, Healthy and Happy Parent is the ultimate joy for a child.
The parent can be felt by their baby as a strong support when holding them, playing gymnastics with the toddler is of tremendous joy, playing soccer with the young child and going for a hike with their teen creates a strong bond.
It is quality time!
The parent shows strength, flexibility and cheerfulness.
Who does not want to be that kind of parent?
Who does not want to be around a person like that! It opens the possibilities for growth, unity and harmony. It also is the greatest example for a child in so many areas of life.
Lack of one or of all three parts: fitness, health and happiness is heavy and difficult, both on the parent as well as on the child.
Lack of one of these parts can also have the following effects:
- Everybody feels concerned.
- The child may not know exactly what is going on, but it feels the borders of what is possible. It feels restrained.
- The child may
* try to push the borders to move them,
* be scared and avoid going there,
* or may think it is their fault and feel not loved for who they are.
Either way it blocks possibilities for growth and unity. It can create a gap between you and the child. Mistrust, losing respect for each other may be consequences.
Meanwhile it has nothing to do with the child. It is you, the parent who is in lack of fitness, health or of happiness.
Yes indeed, you cannot blame your kids for draining you or for pressing your buttons!
Nor do you need to blame yourself for being many times exhausted, out of energy, irritable etc.
As blaming cannot withhold a solution we should just leave the blame game out completely!
Instead we are going to focus on HOW TO GET Fit, Healthy and Happy!
In one of first classes of the Parent Effectiveness Training, parents are given the metaphor to “Fill up their Cup”. Only when your cup has something in it, you are able to be there for the child and poor some from your cup into their cup.
HEALTH AND HAPPYNESS?
- Become aware of your needs. Physical, mental and emotional.
- Recognize stress situations.
- Stand up for yourself. Make sure that your needs are going to be met.
- Have a plan and involve your family.
All of a sudden I found myself crying in the doctors-office, not knowing what was going on with me. I was blessed to have a family doctor in the anthroposophy.
He looked at me and asked:“What do you think you need?”
I sobbed:“Quietness like in a Monastery”.
“That can be arranged” He said.
A few weeks later I was sleeping and eating, and sleeping and eating in total quietness in a Monastry, doing walks in nature in between.
4 Days were scheduled for me. I only needed 3. I had reset my energy and I never needed another ‘break’!
Our bodies are highly sensitive nerve systems. They can pick up everything energetically. They are such precise mechanisms, that many things can bring the body out of balance. You may get stress signals. We are very resilient and can handle a lot, but one tiny thing can have us break down. Especially if those things happen often. They pile up. Like if you keep on dropping onea after the other rice kernel in a clock, it would just stop working totally after a while. Like if you put the wrong oil in your car the motor may get plugged up in the long run and stop working.
Sensitive nerve systems
Work of Alex Grey
- If we have a negative thought it causes stress.
- If we have conflicting experiences in the values and the beliefs that we had, it causes stress.
- Any food, drink and air that is not compatible to our bodies, causes stress.
- Being out of rhythm, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, causes stress.
- Anything we do against our will or with reluctant feelings causes stress; anything happening in our relationships, family, work, nature or society that is beyond our comprehension causes stress.
Now if you know this, you can see that you can do something about it! You can work on ALL AREAS of your life for preventing stress! Yeay! Where do you want to start? Emotionally, Mentally? Financially? Physically?
- Process negative thoughts, Generate thoughts of Gratitude. Can you connect with your subconscious mind?
- Research your beliefs, your Values. Where did they come from. Do they still serve you?
- Like who you are with. That is your starting point. If you want changes in your own life, find people who live the life you desire and connect with them.
- Like what you do. Is your passion part of your life? Can you like what has to be done?
- Shift your standards, your priorities, make a vision board
- What is your mission in life (besides being the coolest parent?) Make sure your energy flows there and your approving of where you are and where you want to be in life will guide you.
- Start a Home based Business.
Of course first your mindset. Building up your trust that you ALWAYS can generate income
We are so used to wanting things, to shopping and there is nothing wrong with it. Yes, do want more! However, be aware when it gets in the way of your happiness. The focus can be too much on ‘items’. We make our happiness depending on things or experiences and our mind gets occupied with it instead of enjoying the here and now and what already is. I am a big fan of making vision boards. The good thing about a vision board is that you can let go of your wishes. Your conscious mind does not need to think of it all the time, (Ha! You ‘outsourced’ them!), which frees you up from stress of thinking about it in the stress of ‘lack’ and not having it yet.
We no longer live in the reality that there is one house-hold income. Many parents both work and even have multiple jobs. Having multiple streams of income is very important to cover for the unforeseen, which can bring families in much stress. You work hard enough, now it is time to think smarter. What passions do you have? How can those passions generate money for you? Start a Home Based Business. Any. Your own product or any product that you like or you want to be an affiliate for. Build it up for several years besides your job, so that it can take over if necessary or be a nice supplemental income. With the internet these days, much is possible.
- Eat healthy. What do human bodies need to thrive? (Not just to survive)
- Drink good water. What is in all the other drinks you take? Where are they made? Do the ingredients put stress on the body?
- Take toxins out of your environment. Do you sleep on a natural pillow and mattress without chemicals? Do you use natural soaps and detergent? Our skin is our largest organ that takes in all of the environment!
- Get fresh air. Can you do the things you do inside, in your garden or on your balcony?
- Body movement. What kind of physical movements do you do, especially with the children when they are young. Do you use your muscles effectively?
You rely on your body so much that it deserves the BEST treatment it can get You rely on it that it does all the tasks that you need it to do. Your family relies on how your body operates and how well it is feeling! You owe attention to this amazing vehicle of yours. But I understand that you may have forgotten about it, as myself I HAD FORGOTTEN!
As a grandmother of a toddler and a baby I was confronted with the fact that I had a hard time getting up from the floor, or do even jumping with my granddaughter. Also when I needed to bend, my belly was in the way. I had gained so much weight over the years! I felt ashamed and avoided situations. It reminded me of the time that I was pregnant with my second child and could not do physical games with my oldest. But then I was pregnant. Now in fact, I had no excuse!
I started working out and really looking after my diet. After a few months I looked better than years before.I knew I just had saved my body, my health and I could be there for my family when they needed me. I also realized that being in shape and fit helps tremendously in ‘catching up’ stress. You can handle so much more emotionally and mentally when your body is working in its optimum state of being!
So I would like to encourage every parent to look into healthy eating, into products that sustain a natural living and physical activity.